One single action can change everything…

Have you ever been in a spot where you just don’t know what is going to happen?  Where you don’t know what your next move will be?  Where you are thinking “What just happened”?  I am at that point right now.  I can’t believe this is happening…

Sunday, one of Andrew’s friends came over and they went for a walk.   I get a phone call a little while later, it’s Andrew.  I have to go pick him up because he is in trouble with the police for trying to steal someone’s bike.   Not knowing what is going to happen with that, we take Andrew home and he is grounded.  Even though he is grounded he wants to go see his girlfriend.  I tell him no.  So she comes over to our house and when David tells her that he cannot go anywhere and tells her what happened.  She gets mad and starts screaming at Andrew.  Somewhere in all of this Andrew picks up an axe and puts a hole in the outside wall of the garage to the house we are renting. David wants to call the police.  I tell him no.    Screaming continues at Andrew by the girlfriend, then they go into the back of the garage to talk.  Andrew and girlfriend’s  friends are left standing outside so I walk them to the front of the house and we sit down at the picnic table in the front yard and talk.  A little while goes by and Girlfriend and Andrew join us again.  Everything has quieted down.  The kids leave and everyone goes about their business.  David gets ready for work, gives me a kiss goodnight/goodbye and I tell him to be careful.

David comes home Monday morning and tells Andrew he is divorcing me.  I don’t know what all was said between the two of them.  I get up and go find David working in Karalyn’s room and tell him good morning.  He says hello and then he tells me he wants a divorce.   He tells me that he put up with this kind of stuff with his ex wife and now he is putting up with it here.   Andrew won’t listen and thinks he can just do whatever he wants.   So now, because of  Andrew, I am getting a divorce…and I didn’t do anything to David.

So now what do I do?  I   have spent the last 24 hours wondering what I am going to do with three kids on one income.  Where are we going to live?  How am I going to support the kids?  This whole situation has just turned my entire world upside down.   I don’t know what to do!  I am stuck.  I am sad, mad,  and keep praying that things will straighten out, but I have a feeling they aren’t going to.


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3 responses to “One single action can change everything…

  1. I’m speechless. I just am in shock. I’m sorry you are going through such a horrible time. This has blindsided me with David telling your son he wants to divorce you- then telling you. I know you love him, but this is wrong. That’s private and should be between you and David. I guess other than that I cannot say “boo” because we do not have children from a previous marriage and I know that can be very sticky. To me though, it sounds like you are handling things the way they should be. Andrew is just a child. 15 years old is far from a man. You are much much much too wonderful for any man to let go of – I simply cannot believe that he would leave over this. The vows you took were, through thick and thin. Ya just cannot toss in the towel when times get tough but Andrew has NO right to get violent toward David, you, your other kids, or any other human being. Period. Call the cops for sure. If he cannot show respect under your roof that shouldn’t ever be tolerated. He’s only just a kid! Shocked. HUGS to you friend.

  2. (((((HUGS)))))!!! Copious amounts of communication and counseling for everyone. I can see where the powerlessness and lack of respect your husband is feeling could drive a wedge hard and fast (not saying he’s right, just saying I understand how that could effect a man in our ‘king of my castle’ society), but it’s not over until it’s over. Pray if you want, but follow that up with action. I’m sorry I didn’t see this sooner. My heart is breaking for you and I’m hoping for the best. Reach out, talk, discuss, don’t argue and involve Andrew and the rest of the kids. Talk about respect, self respect, respect for others, respect for other peoples stuff, treating others and their stuff the way you want you and your stuff to be treated… There are no easy answers, but I know hate, anger, yelling and divorce aren’t going to fix anything. Take care, Mel. 😐 (((((HUGS)))))!!!

  3. I agree with everything annebellasays said. I am trying to understand where David is coming from. I am sure that it must feel like he is caught in a crazy triangle with you and Andrew. But I am not in his shoes. On the other hand, divorce is not going to make things better between any of you and I can’t see him giving up on you over this. Some professional counseling may be in order, at least for you and David if not with Andrew too. Because you two have to stand together as the base of the family to work the rest out. I can’t imagine all the emotions you must be dealing with and it would be good to have someone to talk it out with for that alone. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. You don’t deserve this.

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