Tuesday night…

Tuesday morning David and I went to get Andrew at his girlfriends house.  We brought him home to talk to him.  David asked him to come to the dining room table to talk.  He refused to go to the table.  So I went to Andrew’s room where Andrew was standing and asked him to go to the table again.  He cussed at David and punched his dresser.  David went and got the phone and started to dial 911.  As he dialed Andrew picked up his guitar and raised it over David’s head to hit him.  I took it away.  Then he jumped on David’s back and put his arms around his neck and held him so tight that David could barely breath.   Andrew somehow got the phone out of David’s hands and hung up on 911.  I was trying every way I possibly could to get Andrew off of David when David  trying to breath, squeeked, at me to call 911 back on my cell phone.  So I called them and Andrew got off of David’s back.  The police arrived and they talked to Andrew.  Told him what the consequences could have been had David been injured and needed medical attention or if Andrew were 18.  The police dismissed the whole thing as a misunderstanding, which I am still not sure how that came about and they asked if Andrew could go spend the day with his dad to cool off.

A little while after this happened I got a text message from his girlfriend saying “I do not have any respect for you, not at all.”  I didn’t answer her back.

Later on, Andrew texts me to see if he can go back to the girlfriends house.  I tell him no.  The girlfriends mom texts  me to see if Andrew can come over.  I told her no.  I get a text from Andrew saying that says “If you are saying no because of what “The girlfriend” said earlier, I don’t blame her after what happened today.”  Then I get a text from the girlfriend saying,”Not letting him stay because I said I had no respect for you is only going to make me have even less respect for you! You have to GIVE respect to get respect!”


I had my brother Kevin come over and told him what was going on.  I decided it was time to break it off with this one.  So I sent the girlfriend a text message that said, “You and Andrew are over, No more.  And you need to practice what you preach about respecting people.”  That’s all I wrote.

Next thing I know the girlfriend and her mom are at my house.  Girlfriend pounding on my door and my brother trying to keep Andrew from opening the door to let her in.  She pounded on the door so hard she put her hands through the glass in my front door.  I walked up to the door, with her screaming at me, and almost put my fist in her face, but I decided she wasn’t worth it and walked away.  I went to my bedroom and stayed there until the police came, while the mom and daughter stood outside and had a yelling match with my brother.

The police got to my door and couldn’t believe what they saw.  The door was jammed and they had to kick it in to get in the house… My brother and I explained what was going on and the police explained to the girlfriend and her mom that since Andrew is 15 and a minor, I have the right to say that I didn’t want the kids to see each other anymore, especially since the girlfriend was being so disrespectful of me.  They issued a no  contact order for the girlfriend and her mom.  Andrew’s dad, my ex, was called to come pick up Andrew because the police officers were afraid that Andrew would run away from home and they were afraid they would be called out again.   So Andrew is staying with his dad right now.  The mom is going to pay for a new door, in the meantime, our door has no glass in it and it has no lock on it.  The only thing holding it shut right now is the chain at the top of the door.

I was numb last night while all of this was going on and this morning too.    This afternoon I broke down and cried.  My emotions are all over the place.  I am upset, angry, worried, sad, and a number of other emotions that I just can’t begin to describe.  I think most of  all I am hurt.  I am hurt because my son thinks I am the bad guy.  I am hurt because, I never thought that my son would let his girlfriend disrespect me like she has.   I am hurt that he sides with her.    I hate that he is with his dad and step mom and that he is still probably talking to his girlfriend.  I am hurting so bad right now and I just have no idea how I am going to get through to Andrew…I don’t like conflict, I want my son back!   I am mad that Andrew thinks it was ok to jump on David and choke him.  I am mad that he is mad that I was trying to keep David from getting hurt.  I am mad that he is mad I called the police.  I believe I have done what is right and I am going to stand by and continue to do what I think is right.

Please keep my family in your prayers…and by the way, David and I are still together.  He was sent home from work to stay with me after he explained what was going on to his boss.  I love my David!

Below are pictures of  what is left of my front door.


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3 responses to “Tuesday night…

  1. I’m glad you and David are on the same page. I’m soooo sooo sorry that you are going through this – I’m so glad there is a restraining order against the girlfriend and her mother. Why are they acting like these are adults? They are KIDS! His girlfriend’s mother should have never been involved in any of this. Disgraceful behavior, I’m just at a loss for words. I will keep you in my heart, thoughts and prayers. You know it.

  2. (((((HUGS))))) I was so hoping I would get done with your last post and find another one where everything was right as rain. Well, not quite, but I’m so glad to hear things are smoothed over between you and your husband. As for Andrew, I’m am very sorry to hear about all of that. He’s young, full of hormones, has a girlfriend, knows everything and it’s all about him, his feelings, his wants, his desires. Yeah, I’ve been there, but I wasn’t quite that outwardly violent. I was a wall puncher for sure, and got into it with my brother and sister from time to time, but nothing quite so violent directed at another person. I still say communication is key. Forgiveness is so important, or at least understanding in its absence. As I said before on your other post, there are no easy answers. I’m still here hoping for the best. Things have a way of working themselves out, but they tend to do even better with effort and love. 😉 Take care. (((((HUGS)))))

  3. This really makes me angry. What on earth is the mother of that girl thinking?! She actually drove her daughter to your house and allowed her to vandalize your door? She is an accomplice to a teenager’s crime! And the police should have taken Andrew into custody for the night. I know that is not what anyone wants to hear but I think teaching him a lesson now is the best way to deal with it. In my own family, I have seen a relative get the slap on the wrist each time he did one thing like this as a teenager. I think they just went too easy on him. So he never understood the consequences. Now he is a young adult behind bars because he never curbed that behavior. I truly believe if he had had harsher consequences before he was an adult and before he got a record, that it could have made all the difference in turning his life around. Grr. On the other hand, Peter has some wise words above. Forgiveness IS important, but apologies for bad behavior with true attempts to keep repeating it are respected and called for. I feel terrible for your daughter too. She must be feeling many of the same emotions as you are. And I am sorry that this made me a little angry but I just don’t like you having to deal with this. Hugs to you.

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